it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
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i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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