Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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