Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize