the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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