no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
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Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
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I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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