i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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