Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize