sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
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i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
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