matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize