In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
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i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
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One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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