We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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