So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize