You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Dear god my vagina.
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