i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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