I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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