I got her a Nickelback box set.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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