You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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