honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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