Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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