Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize