youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize