Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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