I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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