Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
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I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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