i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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