you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
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We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
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All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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