you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize