Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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