hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize