I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
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I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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