Fuck appropriateness.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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