You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize