He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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