Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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