God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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