you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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