I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Ketchup is God's man juice
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize