is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize