i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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