you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
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It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
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Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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