Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
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This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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