So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
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Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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