And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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