Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize