Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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