I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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