I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize