Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize