I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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