I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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